i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
