my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize