She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
