I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
