I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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