How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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