im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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