Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
