The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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