you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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