just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
