My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
