Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize