Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Enjoy the penises
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
