you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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