My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
