Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
