I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
