i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
