Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
