I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
