it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
