And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
