Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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