Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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