yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
