So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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