Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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