these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I have already put on my inside pants.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
