the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
