he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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