my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
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