I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
