Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
