Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
