my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
