I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
