Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
