I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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