Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Watching her eat just hurts me
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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