to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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