i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
