if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
