About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I am available for nakedness
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
