she smelled like a LAN party
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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