dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
