Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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