I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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