I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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