Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
