it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
