that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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