u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Randomize
