you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
