drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
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There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Dick very happy bro
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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