I wish life had little blips of pornography
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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