I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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