please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
