It's like a parade of train wrecks.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
