so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
