every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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