you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
