I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
