I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
