Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
