One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
