Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
