btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think I sprained my soul last night
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
