On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
